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Transcript of Bobbie's Memorial

Bobbie's memorial service took place on Friday, September 19, 2008, at Everly Wheatley Funeral Home in Alexandria, Virginia. The main room was packed and there were people crowded into the overflow rooms. Tom was so concerned that there wouldn't be enough programs that he asked me to tell the funeral employees to only give one program to each couple or party. What follows is the transcript from the service, which I transcribed from a DVD recording that was made.

Rick: I can say that this is absolutely the hardest thing that I've ever had to do in my entire life. How do you get up to speak after you've lost one of the best friends you could ever have? How do you honor one of the most gentle and caring individuals you could ever meet? I wanted to speak this morning without written text, but I know I'll never make it through. So I'm going to read the text; I'm going to do my best to make it through. This week we were faced with a tragedy that we'll never understand. All we were left with were questions. The hardest one of all was a question that doesn't have an answer: Why? But we're not here today to try to answer any of those questions. We're here today for a service of celebration, a service of remembrance, a tribute to a life lived to its fullest. Obviously we can't ignore or ever forget what happened, but Tom made me promise that this service wouldn't be sad. And I'm really counting on all of you to help me keep that promise. This doesn't mean that there won't be tears; tears are allowed.

Earlier this week, as Tom began planning this service, he knew that a traditional service with a minister or a pastor just wouldn't do. It wasn't Bobbie. I think Bobbie's mom, Wanda, summed it up best shortly after arriving from Ohio. Her words couldn't have been any simpler. Wanda said, “Bobbie is an individual.” And that's what we're hoping this service will show you today: just what an individual Bobbie was. For those of you that knew Bobbie, it'll be a chance to share your stories and recall the laughter and joy. For those of you who never met her, hopefully you'll be able to walk away understanding just what a wonderful and special person she was. Now the second words out of Wanda's mouth were, “Bobbie had her quirks.” [laughter] And I said to myself, I didn't say to Wanda, but I said to myself, “No truer words have ever been spoken.” [laughter] And you know, that's why we love Bobbie, her quirks; Bobbie was like no one we'll ever know again. But you know, more than the quirks, it went a lot deeper than that. The truth of the matter is, Bobbie was one of the most multi-faceted people that most of us will ever meet. Tom selected five people this morning that he felt appropriate to speak about five facets of her life. And today I have the honor of speaking about her qualities of friendship and community.

If I had to think of a single word to describe Bobbie, there's no question that word would be, friend. A more loyal or devoted friend has never walked the face of the Earth. We all have to grieve in our own time, and in our own way, and I'm not exactly sure what that means for me yet, but I do know for me this week it meant not looking at a single news story or single television story at all. All I knew was that when that call came from Tom Saturday afternoon there was a job to be done. We needed to do right by Bobbie. I wasn't sure what that meant at the time, but as the week progressed, I began to understand.

I still remember the day that I met Bobbie. I was visiting the model home in Early Street Village in 1996. Tom and Bobbie had already moved into the neighborhood, and Bobbie was in the model, bringing a piece of cake to the sales manager. [laughter] And you know, Bobbie and I would talk about it years later, and she had absolutely no recollection of the meeting. [laughter] And it's clear, it's totally clear why: to Bobbie, that's what you did. You took a piece of cake to somebody. And from that moment I knew that Bobbie was somebody special. What I didn't know is that my partner Carlos and I would move into that very same house and we would become fast and furious friends with Bobbie and Tom.

I've also thought a lot this week about the friend that I choose to remember. The friend I'll remember is the one that was always ready and willing to embark on a new adventure, big or small. Being Bobbie's friend meant going with her to get her first tattoo. [laughter] Or helping her pick out that perfect dress. The friend I'll remember is the one that was always there for you when you needed her, good times or bad.

For those of you that know me well, you know that there were two girls in my life: Jackie and Bobbie. So when the time came to make a pilgrimage to the Jackie Kennedy exhibit in Boston, all I needed to do was pick up that phone, and Bobbie was in. [laughter] And once you were Bobbie's friend, it meant that you were part of her family. It meant invitations to family dinners hosted by her dad Jack, his lovely wife Marge, where, by the way, Carlos learned how to sharpen a hunting knife from Bobbie's sister Bonnie. [laughter] Now, you know, that's the type of story that would just tickle Bobbie to no end, she loved those kind of stories. Being Bobbie's friend and being part of the family meant Christmases spent with Leslie, Charlie, and Bobbie's niece LeaAnne. We would be searching through the house for the presents that Bobbie had hidden and frantically opening them; she loved Christmas. Bobbie loved all of her family so, so much and LeaAnne, Bobbie was especially proud of you too.

Yesterday I got to meet Bobbie's brother Barry for the first time. Barry came up to comfort me last night during a pretty rough time, and I had absolutely no idea who he was. He comforted me, and then introduced himself. When I should have been comforting him, he was comforting me. He was being the kind of friend that Bobbie would have been. But what Barry didn't know was that I had just gotten the message that I had been waiting for all week. When I arrived last night, the chapel just happened to be empty. I signed the guest book and the second I began to walk forward to see Bobbie, the song “Moon River” started to play. That was Bobbie; she was telling me, “Don't worry, I'm OK.”

When Bobbie and Tom were celebrating their twentieth wedding anniversary, I foolishly volunteered to bake her wedding cake. [laughter] Now, you know, knowing how particular Bobbie was, I thought she wouldn't take me up on that offer in a million years. [laughter] So, before I knew it, I was baking 40 individual two-tier chocolate wedding cakes with raspberry filling and white chocolate cream cheese frosting. [laughter] What was it about Bobbie? What made you want to do those things for her?

Bobbie had so many good qualities, but I realized this week that the one I admired the most was her ability to recognize and bring out the best in all of us. This became crystal-clear to me this week when I saw how all of her friends and neighbors rallied to support the family. Some of the first folks to show up at the house on Sunday were friends that Bobbie and Tom had made at the dog park. For those of you who may not know, Tom and Bobbie have adopted a lovely dog named Beau from the Alexandria Animal Welfare League. It was about five months ago, and these friends, Debbie and Paula, arrived with enough food to feed an army. And they had only known Bobbie a few months. That's what being a friend meant to Bobbie. And then there was Joe. An angel from heaven, only a phone call away in his kimono, ready to do whatever needed to be done. [laughter] There were Gary and Steve, putting together the program for this service. Susie running over from across the street at just the right times to help. Natalie dealing with the media. Joan and Michael and Steve and Linda and Emmanuel and so many others preparing food for this afternoon. The list of names goes on and on and on. But the one common thread is that these people all wanted to thank Bobbie. They wanted to pay her tribute. They wanted the chance to say, “Thank you for expecting nothing but the best of yourself and teaching us how to find it in ourselves.” And now, from all of us, I'd like to say to Bobbie, “Thank you for being a friend.”

Another aspect of Bobbie was her professional life. For the last 10 years, Bobbie worked as a receptionist at Kositzka, Wicks and Company in Alexandria. Paul, one of the principals of the firm, will be representing this area of Bobbie's life this morning. While I don't know Paul, I do know from Tom that's he's held a special place in Bobbie's heart. It seems Bobbie and Paul shared a similar sense of humor, so I just kind of wanted to give fair warning; we all know Bobbie's sense of humor, so I'm not sure what we're going to expect here. [laughter] But before I ask Paul to come up, I do have one sort of work story that I think he might get a chuckle out of. I remember one Sunday I called the house and Bobbie answered, and she said, “Kositzka, Wicks and Company, how may I help you?” [laughter] And I said, “Bobbie?” [laughter] And there was a pause, she didn't say anything, and I said, “This is Rick.” And she said, “Dammit, why did it have to be you?” [laughter] She knew I would never let her forget that one. [laughter] But now, I would like to welcome Paul up to say a few words.

Paul: Thank you, Rick, appreciate that. Bobbie came with us in 1998 as our receptionist, and she immediately took over the job, learned it well, and the very next thing she did was look for other things to do. She wasn't satisfied with just sitting there, saying, “Kositzka, Wicks and Company, how can I help you?” [laughter] The things that she has done for the firm, I could stay up here and talk to you all afternoon, but basically she took care of us. She was the center point, focal point, very important part of the firm. For our clients, she made a big impact on them, she developed many friendships with them. And that's evidenced by all of the emails and phone calls that we've got, and we've got flowers, just about as many in our office as you have here from the clients and from the other people that she met and impacted at her job. The thing that I remember most about Bobbie was her ability to change. For those of you who are into fashion, [laughter] Bobbie was into fashion. It was always an adventure to come into the office in the morning and see what Bobbie was going to look like today. [laughter] Hair styles, hair colors, clothing changed with the times and she pulled it off pretty well. One day when I was walking by her desk I caught a fragrance, and I thought, “I know that fragrance.” And I walked over to her desk, and I said, “I think I know that fragrance, what perfume is that?” She had this little grin on her face, and she said, “It's not perfume, it's a man's cologne; I just like it.” [laughter] It was Obsession for Men. [laughter] I don't know if she was telling me something there or not. [laughter]

Another aspect to Bobbie was her willingness to give. The firm does quite a few things in a charitable mode, different things at different times of the year. One of the things that we take a lot of pleasure in is Adopt-A-Family at Christmas time. The first year we did that with United Community Ministries in Alexandria, I recruited Bobbie to help me with that and that was the end of my involvement. [laughter] Thereafter Bobbie took care of that, and every year thereafter. She recruited other people to help, and it was a very, very successful program. We could always count on her; if you needed something, she was there. If you needed somebody to put in a little overtime, something had to be done in a weekend during tax season, she was always willing to pitch in and help. We're gonna miss her terribly; there's a big hole there, but I think the way that we'll heal is by remembering the good times and the good things, and there's a lot of them. Thank you.

Rick: The other part of Bobbie's life that was very important to her was family. Tom has such a terrific family, and they've all rallied around him strong this week, particularly his mother Sue. As her heart was breaking for her son, and for Bobbie, she somehow found the energy to keep going. Family members have been arriving from Portland and Ohio all week long, including Tom's brothers Duane and Tim, and Tim's wife Melissa, their uncle Guy, nieces, nephews, and cousins. It's been a loving testament not only of their love for Tom, but of Bobbie also. Bobbie was immediately accepted into the family as one of their own. She would frequently talk about how much she enjoyed the Bosworth brothers' dry sense of humor. Today, Tom's older brother Duane from Portland will be sharing some memories and hopefully some of that Bosworth humor.

Duane: Well, let me say that it's an honor to speak on behalf of the Bosworth family on this celebration of Bobbie's life. And when I say Bosworth I also mean the Hummons, and the Wagners, and the Sextens, and the Canton, Ohio Bosworths, and others, and for Tom I'll say, and the Winkles too. [laughter] Kind of an inside family joke. I should say also that although I speak for a living it's in a very, very different context and I have asked myself over and over again in the last few days why on Earth I was chosen to do this. I'm not the most emotionally expansive member of our family by a long stretch, and it's just my fervent hope that when I'm finished the question of why on Earth I was chosen to do this won't rise to the top of your mind [laughter], but we'll find out in a couple minutes.

But it turns out that the task that I was given is actually an easy one and that is again to celebrate Bobbie's life. And the one thing that I know with tremendous certainty is that the Bosworth family took enormous joy from having Bobbie in our lives. First, there was the joy that we took in seeing the joy that Tom, excuse me, well both, but that Bobbie first I'll say brought to Tom. That was an extraordinary thing for all of us to see. I once was introduced as a speaker, and the introducer said that I was a model lawyer. I was relatively flattered for a moment until he reminded the audience that when you look in the dictionary under model, the first definition is, “small replica of the real thing.” [laughter] And Tom and Bobbie however had a model marriage in exactly the opposite way, the other primary definition of an example par excellence, of the epitome of what a marriage and a partnership could be. And I think that's illustrated in many ways by the kinds of things, and Tom mentioned this in a news article, the kinds of ways in which they stretched each other. I think that Tom may be among the least likely people, at least pre-Bobbie, to ever have engaged in square dancing. [laughter] He certainly would be among the least likely. Tom went on cruises with Bobbie. Tom renewed his vows, and that is something the more placid Bosworths don't usually do; these are stretches of spirit and emotion and heart and soul that Bobbie brought to Tom. And in turn, Tom brought to Bobbie the ability to patiently watch a baseball game, even the Washington Nationals. [laughter] And to bird-watch, although of course Bobbie had a tremendous awe of nature that has less to do with classifying the precise warbler that's in front of you, and she came to that through Tom. And so they had greatly different interests that meshed, and I couldn't think of what the proper metaphor was, really: is it a mortise and tenon joint, or is it the homely Velcro that meshes together? But in any event, they brought very, very different things and they, in that way, had a model, that is epitomical, marriage and partnership. And this is something that simply was extraordinary.

I got to thinking about trying to paint a word picture of Bobbie, synonyms and antonyms that captured her; frankly there are of course hundreds of examples. Rick's alluded to a few. She was certainly one of the most genuine people that you could ever have met. I think Rick said child-like, and I think that's a very important compliment, and it's immensely different from childish, it has nothing whatsoever to do with it. She had a natural awe of nature, of the world around her. Antonyms would include hidebound. Sometimes Bobbie I think wasn't even aware of the box that she was clearly outside of. [laughter] And that was just a wonderful, wonderful thing. I'm a huge fan of what's called naive art, and it's the opposite, and Bobbie, I think naive is a good word. The naive artist doesn't care about the Western tradition of art, and what has gone before, the naive artist is simply expressing him- or herself. And the genuineness and the lack of artifice and the lack of pretense in which that's done is what speaks to me, and that was what Bobbie was in every moment. Again, artifice and pretense would be tremendous antonyms for the life of Bobbie. She was open, she was loving, she was tremendously interested in family. There's some words that cut both ways: shy. I think there's a certain sense in which she was shy, although we've heard a little bit about work in which that's not the case. She wouldn't necessarily be the first person to speak. On the other hand, I don't know that you could ever successfully call someone shy who has five-inch leopard print heels [laughter] in her closet, and wore them. I think she has two pair actually. [laughter]

The Bosworths, and I'm talking here again about very extended families, have so many memories of Bobbie and I won't talk to you about all of them, but when Tom and Bobbie were in Portland, we had the height of sophistication every Friday night, without fail: we all went to Taco Bell [laughter] 'cause we could afford it. And then we all went home and watched, I think the program was “The Dinosaur Show” [sic, “Dinosaurs”], if anybody remembers that, but it was just a crazy, nutty comedy, and we had so much fun. My son was an infant, and Bobbie would help to make him cheese cannonballs out of the loose cheese at Taco Bell, which he could choose to either eat or throw, and she was good with either result. [laughter] We have tremendous memories in my family of Bobbie taking my daughter Tiffany to have her ears pierced. There was some controversy about the authority for that, [laughter] but her heart was absolutely in the right place, and I think Tiff has enjoyed that ever since. Bobbie and Tom had a tremendous tradition of going to Ohio for Thanksgiving, and again, I think that family outing with regard to the Bosworth/Hummon/Wagner/Sexten, etc. families was very, very important to them. It was always followed however by one or two days of 18-hour shopping, and getting ready for Christmas, and Al and others remember the impossibility of keeping up with her, and that time Tom [was] just sitting on a bench in the mall [laughter] thinking this will be over by 9 p.m. or so. [laughter] Another memory which I hope is acceptable to everybody is Bobbie having a half glass or even a full glass of wine. That was a tremendous entertainment for all of the Bosworth family. It didn't happen very often – I think it's fair to say Bobbie was not a drinker – but when it did happen, we all had more fun than we could stand, it was rolling on the floor. And like Tom, who you don't expect at first to come out with any zingers, when Bobbie came out with a zinger, there was nothing grander on Earth, it was just spectacular, and you'd remember it for weeks, and she would bring down the house and the house was usually 15 or more people around. Those are tremendous memories. My uncle has memories like this picture here [picture near speaking podium of Bobbie with birds] of hummingbirds at the Desert Museum in Tucson, and again, her incredible love of nature and the hummingbirds in this aviary with hundreds of birds coming to her.

There's another word that I love, velleity, and it means the lowest level of volition or willingness or action on a human scale. Something is a mere velleity when you think about it, but you just never do it. I don't know that Bobbie had any of those. And this is something I've discussed with nephews and nieces; when Bobbie had an idea, subject to the fiscal responsibility that Tom would impose [laughter], when Bobbie had an idea, it simply became reality. And that is an extraordinary, extraordinary thing. What she dreamed, she did. She did that spiritually, she did that in her celebrations of rites and of rituals and of travel and of swimming with dolphins, etc. What she dreamed, she had no velleities in her life unless they were too expensive. But she simply accomplished what she thought she would do, and that included really spiritually reaching out in so many ways that the hidebound among us would not. So I think that is just a tremendous lesson that I will always take from her life, and it adds so much to the joy that we had in being with her.

The Bosworths didn't earn this honor, in any way, but we're going to be entrusted with continuing an honor, and that is that Bobbie is going to be interred in Portland. And that's something Tom and Bobbie talked about, and that places a lot of responsibility on anybody who's there, but it also is a blessing and an honor that we're going to treasure greatly. And for anyone in this room who ventures to Portland, we hope that we will be able to see you and continue to share the blessing that was Bobbie's life. Thank you.

Rick: I've already talked a bit this morning about Bobbie's wonderful family, but we'll also be having Bobbie's stepsister Leslie share some memories from the Spink family. Now while Leslie may have been Bobbie's stepsister in title, that title could never, ever, ever be further from the truth. Leslie and Bobbie were true sisters in every sense of the way, and I know Leslie, that Bobbie would be honored to have you speak today.

Leslie: Thank you, Rick. Like him I'm going to have to speak from paper. [tears up] [to casket] I'll be good. I've been asked to speak on behalf of the family of Bobbie, and if you didn't know the history of our family you might think, well, why not, somebody has to speak, so why not you. So allow me to tell you a little bit of history of our family. So many are still confused despite so much note-taking. When my mother married Jack, they shared seven kids between them, all ridiculously close in age. We also knew each other from Wakefield, the same high school. I dated a boy in the drama club when I was a freshman, and I would hear, “Spink!” being yelled from what seemed like the ceiling of the amphitheater while the kids practiced their lines. I thought, “Hmm, that name sounds familiar.” Bobbie's brother Barry worked the lights and electronics for the school, and it was his name that was being yelled about. Bobbie wasn't living in Virginia yet; she had moved away and it would be awhile before I got the chance to meet and get to know her. But in the meantime I had gotten to know Bonnie; we were still adolescent girls, like 15 or 16, and wondering who and what the other one was like. By the time our parents married, and I had won over Bonnie, Bobbie was back in town. When I met her, I was expecting her to be similar to Bonnie, not this petite, sweet, quiet, and feminine one. [laughter] Whereas Bonnie and I played team softball together, and “top this” type mind games – and we both still do – Bobbie wanted to take me shopping and do my hair. [laughter] It was the best of both worlds to have them for my sisters. We all became closer as the years went by. When Bobbie and Tom got married, she asked me to be in her wedding, and I returned the honor about a year later and asked her to be in mine. I don't need to tell anyone who knows Bobbie how much she enjoys helping in the decoration [and] pleasures of shopping for a wedding. I went shopping armed with ideas and many, many, many sheets from catalogs.

Over the years our family had been through a lot. My older brother Paul passed away suddenly, and with my mother already pushed to the limit physically and emotionally with her bouts of illnesses, she passed away soon too. Bobbie had been there helping and guiding, listening, and letting my mother cry on her shoulder when the pain was bad or if she was scared. I saw Bobbie hold her hand and speak to her gently and encouragingly during some very hard times. At the end of the day, on the day that my mother died, we all went out to dinner at a favorite Greek restaurant near their home, and everyone was shattered. I remember at some point Bobbie asking, “Does this mean we're not a family anymore?” and she looked so sad. I went, “No!” [slams hand on podium; laughter] “We'll always be a family, no matter what.” We are. We have been and always will be a family, and we have grown, adding Marge and her two daughters Jenny and Amy to the clan, whether they like it or not. [laughter] We've had children and some of our children have had children. So this family still grows.

I asked some family members for their thoughts of Bobbie. It's not right that I just get to speak on behalf of everybody. And her mother Wanda reminisced about her first baby, a very pretty little girl with a bright cap of the reddest hair. And her father Jack, a baby with complications at first, but turned into a smiling and very sweet child. And he felt so protective of her. Barry, I heard some stories there, I can't repeat them. [laughter] I promised. But he said she was a sensitive sister who was quick to come to his rescue, even if she sometimes did the terrorizing to begin with. [laughter] And a man Bobbie was proud to strut around Old Town with him when he was in his military blues. Now Bonnie let me know that sometimes they were friends, they were allies; sometimes antagonists, but they would kick anybody's butt if another one messed with their sister. Charlie, my fiancé, he's a Southern gentleman, he recognized a Southern lady and thought she was the sweetest and quietest of all my sisters until Bobbie promised to bring him severe pain if he ever hurt me. [laughter] LeaAnne let me know that Bobbie was accepting, and she enjoyed her aunt, and she knew that Bobbie thought that if she ever had a daughter, LeaAnne would have been just like her. And Tom let me know that that was his soul mate. Bobbie was someone who made living easy for him. So I am still honored with being the sister of Bobbie, a sister to her siblings and Tom, and why I am up here. And we will remain a family. Thank you.

Rick: Now I know it's not easy for folks to come up and speak, but Tom wanted to open up the service for any friends or family or co-workers who may like to share some memories, maybe a funny story. And believe me, I know more than anybody it's not easy to get up in front and speak, but if you feel so inclined, I know Tom would be thrilled. If you want to come forward and stand here, come to the mic, or stand where you're seated, we would really like to hear a few stories or some memories of Bobbie.

Charlie: I'm Charlie, Leslie's fiancé, and I came into the family about four years ago and I met Tom and Bobbie. Coming from an Italian family from New Orleans, I had a very bonding and close family, and she reminded me of my family so much. She was extremely gentle and caring and loving and we started going to, as Rick mentioned, to her house on Christmas, and everything had to be perfect. Everything, and I'm gonna remember that so well, because she was the sweetest person that, I must say, I've ever met.

Carlos: I'm Rick's partner; my name is Carlos. I remember that day in the model home when I saw Bobbie with the piece of cake, and what Rick forgot to mention was that Bobbie had a measuring tape. She was measuring the curtains of the model home [laughter] because she wanted curtains just like that. [laughter] Then she confessed to me a few years later they became a bit heavy, but she loved them. That was one of her passions, her hobbies, Bobbie was full of ideas. She was always learning, she was always open for something new and that child-like, that bit of naive [quality] was so charming and so beautiful. Rick and I became part of her family. Both of our families are not in the area, so we had that comfort of a friend and a mother. [tears up] Bobbie was very open-minded, she did not care at all if we were gay or not. Probably you see on the news nowadays some politician thinking that gay people need to go to the psych ward to be cured; Bobbie was not like that. So it was really our intent, we were mentors in gay life and gay culture for Bobbie. [laughter] And the funniest one was when Bobbie said, “Oh, my God, I did not know the Village People were gay!” [laughter] And I said, “Did you know about Liberace?” “No!” [laughter] So it's that sweetness and kindness from Bobbie that I will always remember, and she did not care who you were and [she had] none of the baggage that society will bring to people; Bobbie could care less, she would love you and care for you.

One thing I feel also I need to confess is, and I apologize to Bobbie for this, I need to come clean, was my reaction to some of Bobbie's stories. I remember Bobbie came one day, she was fairly upset from work because there was some issue about a birthday cake of the month. [laughter] And she started telling her story, and I'm trying to pay attention, but the story became more and more convoluted, and it went years back. [laughter] I woke up and said, “Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you.” And so I have to confess that sometimes I was not paying attention. [laughter] But that was Bobbie. And a piece of advice for Tom: please don't open the ceiling and put the staircase to go to a loft in the attic. That's not gonna work. [laughter] So I just want you to remember Bobbie for her kindness and her openness. I learned from her many things, but for Bobbie there was no black and white. She never had sides, she taught me to learn about shades of gray. In her thoughts, in her love for people, in her religious feelings, in everything, her love for nature, and everything that's around us, she did not have sides. She was very open and welcoming to everybody and she loved everybody. We should be a little bit more like her. Thank you.

LeaAnne: Hi, I'm LeaAnne; I'm Bobbie's niece. Growing up, I heard from everybody that I should have been Bobbie. [laughter] Now, sometimes that was said in fits of anger; sometimes that was said when I did one of my many quirky things. So I was never sure whether that was a compliment or an insult growing up. [laughter] Bobbie was this kooky aunt that came over with really expensive clothes for us at Christmas time, and always did our hair and always was trying to turn us into little porcelain dolls. And that was never me, and I didn't really know her too well until about 2000 when my family moved to Ohio and I came back to Virginia and stayed, and that's when Bobbie and I really got to be really close. My mom was in Ohio and Bobbie swooped in, she wanted to be my mom, and she said, “All right, here I am, I'm going to take over as your second mom.” So she came down to college with me, and she saw my college campus, and she made sure I was fed, and she made sure I was doing everything, she kept in touch with emails and photos, and had me over for holidays when I couldn't afford to go up to Ohio. I found out that being like Bobbie was not an insult, it was a very good thing. And Bobbie is a very special person, and I'm going to miss her a lot.

Emmanuel: I'll just stand and speak of Bobbie, it's going to be hard, she was a dear, dear, loving person. When my partner and I moved into Early Street Village years ago, we were one of the first ones to move there, Bobbie and Tom were there, and they invited us to dinner. My partner Drew, he's in Malawi now, and as a result he's worked in African countries for many, many years. We gathered a lot of mementos from Africa. We went to Bobbie and Tom's house for dinner, and of course we reciprocated and invited them to our home for dinner. Well, Bobbie, being Bobbie, was shocked to see some of the artifacts, and she was like, “Oh, I could never stay here, I would get nightmares.” [laughter] However, that did not stop Bobbie from developing and maintaining a loving, trusting friendship that will, for me and for Drew, will be a hallmark of what a true person is, to show her openness and willingness to be accepting. And one of the true testaments was when they celebrated their twentieth year wedding anniversary, she came to me and entrusted me with decorating the outside area. [laughter]

Sue: I'm Tom's mother, and of course then, Bobbie's mother-in-law. And if there's any kind of gift in the world that a mother can receive, it is the gift of knowing that your child is loved and taken care of and safe. And Bobbie gave me that gift the 24 years they were married. I knew that Tom was in the right hands, was in the right love, and was in the right care. And forever that will mean something to me, it will be my treasure. Bobbie was so many things, but she was the keeper and caretaker of my son. And that was wonderful.

Tom: Like everybody else, I'm going to have to read this. It's not too long, but I really want to thank everyone so much for being here today and being part of the celebration of Bobbie's life. Words just can't describe how touched I've been by the outpouring of love and affection demonstrated by our friends and families. It's been a comfort for me and all our families far beyond what you'll ever know. One of Bobbie's favorite movies at Christmas time is one I'm sure everyone's familiar with; it starred Jimmy Stewart. It's the story of a man who's down on his luck and through the intervention of an angel is afforded an opportunity to look back at pivotal moments in his life to witness where he made a tremendous impact on the lives of others. Over the past few days through hundreds of conversations and cards and letters, I've been blessed with a similar opportunity to look back at Bobbie's life and hear wonderful stories about the tremendous impact she has had, both big and small, on the lives of so many. So Bobbie, my beautiful wife, while our life together was far too short, as you can see by this outpouring of love and affection, you really did have a wonderful life.

Rick: I think I'm going to close it right there. There's one more aspect of Bobbie's life that we would like to share today also. Bobbie definitely viewed her life as a never-ending spiritual journey that would bring her closer to nature and closer to the Earth and closer to the heavens. Terri was one of Bobbie's closest spiritual friends and we're very lucky to have her here this morning to help us understand that journey that Bobbie was walking.

Terri: [lights candle] Everyone here, everyone who knew Bobbie knew she was a wonderful woman: gracious and full of light. It didn't take long to know how much she loved nature; all you had to do was hear about her cats or her dog, or be blessed enough to sit in her garden with her. What many of you might not know is how her love of nature connected to her spirituality. She loved nature, cats, foxes, trees, and flowers, and this love brought her to the Goddess, to Wicca, and into my life. I'm very grateful for that.

I met Bobbie eight years ago, while in a class on Wicca, and we got to be friends. Bobbie was pretty quiet with her classmates at first, but you could see the sparkle in her eyes. And when we needed a new place to have class, she graciously welcomed us into her home. As Wiccans, we believe in a God and a Goddess, that we are all intimately tied to nature and to each other. Bobbie's spirit is with us. When you think you hear her voice, her laughter, smell her perfume – or apparently her man's cologne – [laughter] she's there with you. When you dream, and Bobbie is there, say hello; she'll hear you. We are all connected, no matter which side of the veil we are on. And when one of these things reminds you of her, don't be sad. Remember how lucky you are to have known her. I found this poem; I wish I know who wrote it, but I don't, but I think it says it well.

So mote it be. Hail and farewell. [extinguishes candle] It's nice to know who went with the first tattoo, 'cause Patty and I were there for the last tattoo. [laughter]

Rick: I have a feeling there were quite a few trips to the tattoo parlor. [laughter] Now comes the part that I've really been dreading the most: closing remarks. We're going to be closing the service shortly with the song “One Moment in Time.” Bobbie had told Tom that if events ever called for it, this was a song she wanted played. We couldn't think of a more fitting tribute. But before we close, there was one story that Tom wanted me to share with you. Around the time they were getting married, there was a country western hit song called “Whatever Happened to Old Fashioned Love” by B.J. Thomas. Tom told me yesterday that this song symbolized what they hoped their marriage would be and what it did in fact turn out to be. In fact the title is engraved in Tom's wedding band. I don't think that Tom knows it, but through the years, Bobbie made Carlos and I promise over and over and over again that we would take care of Tom if anything ever happened to her. Of course, we promised, but you never give it much thought, you just say, “Well, that's Bobbie, that's Bobbie” – until now. And it makes me wonder if maybe Bobbie knew that something would happen. And I wouldn't be surprised if through the years that she had asked many others of you in this room to make that very same promise. In any case, I can't think of a truer expression of Bobbie and Tom's love. Well, Bobbie, I'm here to tell you, don't you worry, we have him covered. We have him all covered. All of us, we all have him covered. We love you, Bobbie, and we look forward to when our hearts will meet again.

[Song plays; service ends]

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